Snail Mail
by Catapily
Summary: Parakarry was a slow mailman. But he wasn't always a slow mailman. Find out what might have happened, and how Luigi and his diary got caught in the crossfire.
**A/N: first try at a Mario story and one-shot. I actually thought that I'd get this out in January. Anyways, first Mario story, I got this when my friend tattled Parakarry with Goombario in the prologue. "A slow mailman? That can't be good." Yeah, so I decided to write my theory (or whatever you wanna call it) on why he is a slow mailman. Yup. This story takes place before the events of Paper Mario 64.**

 **Soooo yeah. Also, this is a half-prequel to another story I'm currently planning.**

 **Onto the story, Luigi style!**

* * *

 _Dear Diary,_

 _Today I just remembered how I met one of my Bro's partners before his adventure! I heard he's a mailman, and I kinda also met one of my Bro's enemies, too... I kinda remembered by dropping a letter off at the post office. Yeah. His name's Parakarry, and he works at the post office. I met him today actually! Not much else happened, other then us chatting, so I now would like to tell you the story how I met him. Here I go..._

* * *

 _Enter Flashback!_

Parakarry was flying out of Forever Forest, going towards Toad Town.

 _'Phew, last letter for the day,'_ he thought. _'I would've finished earlier if it weren't for that fuzzy.'_ When he was in Forever Forest, a fuzzy came and stole his letter. Usually, he knew his way around, but the fuzzy made him lose track. He got the letter back, and got lost in the process. He ended up staying lost for about the whole afternoon, until he finally made his way towards Boo's Mansion. He managed to get back safely, but a fuzzy was following him, and he got stuck fighting one and got his HP drained, too. And getting your HP drained isn't fun.

He continued his way until he heard some shuffling in the bushes. _'Weird,'_ he thought. _''There isn't any wind...What if one of the fuzzies is still following me?!'_ The shuffles continued, and just as Parakarry was getting at his most paranoid, a shadow jumped at him.

"Whoa!" he shrieked, and dove to the side. Another shadow came at him, and he flew right. "Yikes!" Another two appeared, and he flew up.

 _'Gotta run... GOTTA RUN!'_ he repeated to himself in his mind. He flew towards the dock, wondering if the things will stop following him once he reaches the water. Unfortunately, they didn't. They seemed to be...

 _'Spinning in the water? What?'_ Streams of water followed behind their tracks as Parakarry made a decision. _'If I'm gonna die... I'm not gonna die drowning!'_

Parakarry did a sharp turn and flew back to the shore, causing his predators to make a U-turn and follow him. He didn't want to worry the princess, or wake up Mario for whatever reason, and when he checked his watch, it was already 11:23. Too late to wake everyone up and cause panic.

* * *

 _'Maybe I should just hide...,'_ he thought, then hastily flew over to a rock and ducked behind it.

Or so he thought.

The supposed 'rock' he was trying to hide begin was actually someone's trampoline turned over to the side, half-covered in a plastic bag. Which, the nature of a trampoline was to propel someone in the direction it was facing. And, unfortunately for Parakarry, he was on the propelling side without knowing it.

As a trampoline's nature is, when Parakarry pressed his back onto the trampoline, the force pushed him in the opposite direction, causing him to soar in that direction.

"Whoooooooooooaaaaaaaaaa!" he yelled, trying to slow down his pace, but then he realized that he could use this speed to his advantage. Given this realization, he flapped his wings faster than before, headed straight to the square of Toad Town.

When he reached the square of Toad Town, Parakarry slowed down, looking around just in case of an ambush lurking around.

"Hey-" A voice said behind him.

"GYAH!" Parakarry jumped in surprise and turned around to a moustachioed man clad in green with blue overalls. "Oh, umm, sorry 'bout that..."

"It's fine," the man replied. "Do you need any help?"

"Um, n-no thanks, I'm, k-kinda b-b-busy..," Parakarry stammered-replied.

"You sure?" The man asked again.

"Yeah, I'm s-sure... B-bye!"

Parakarry sped out of the square and towards the road to Koopa Village.

 _'What is it with me and my luck?!'_

Parakarry's luck was quickly summarized in one fell swoop when a green Koopa shell came spinning towards him and knocked him back. Parakarry shrieked in surprise, and a figure caught him at the back. He squirmed, trying to get out of the creature's grip. He noticed that a green ninja Koopa held a diary.

"Dude, ya slow down or ya in a pink princess dress!" the thing said.

"Yellow!" A red ninja Koopa came into Parakarry's view. "That ain't cool!"

"We better get this dude into the fortress NOW!" The green ninja Koopa who hit Parakarry commanded.

"Who asked you, Green?! IM the LEADER here, and I give the COMMANDS!" Red fought back.

After a short and intense glaring contest, someone broke the silence.

"Dude, we have another dude here," the black-shelled Koopa pointed out. Parakarry looked to where the Koopa was pointing, and the others got the same idea. It was the guy in green from earlier.

* * *

 _BACK IN TIME AND LUIGI'S POV..._

At night, when Mario climbed up to the top bunk and fell asleep, Luigi quietly crept out of the bottom bunk. He closed the door to their room and headed outside. He sighed and twisted his cap. He felt weird these days, and he didn't know why, so usually he would get up at night, try to do something, and then head back. Luckily for him, Mario doesn't know anything about his midnight trips. He also brought his diary with him, for comfort.

He took in the fresh air and tranquility, and headed down the pipe that lead to Toad Town. He wished that there was some kind of midnight activity that he could participate in, since most of the nights he ends up punching rocks.

Well, his wish was granted.

He heard something along the lines of "Whoooooooooooaaaaaaaaaa!" and saw a blur of brown and white fly by him, then followed by a couple of Koopas spinning after the blur. One of those Koopad stretch his arm out and snatched Luigi's diary.

"My diary!" He yelped.

He followed the blur and the koopas to get back his diary. He walked briskly, trying not to wake anyone up. He eventually caught up to 'the blur', which, was in fact, a Paratroopa. He also had a brown bag. Although, he looked pretty tired and more anxious than any normal Paratroopa .

 _'Probably the local mailman...'_ Luigi decided to speak up. "Hey-"

"GYAH!" The mailman turned around and looked. "Oh, umm, sorry 'bout that..."

"It's fine," he replied. _'This guy looks worse for wear...'_ "Do you need any help?"

The mailman shook his head and replied, "Um, n-no thanks, I'm, k-kinda b-b-busy..."

 _'This guy must've been spooked real bad...'_ "Are you sure?" Luigi asked again.

"Yeah, I'm s-sure... B-bye!"

The Paratroopa flew off, and then I heard a shriek along with some yelling, something around the lines of "...IM...LEADER...I...COMMANDS...," but he wasn't entirely sure, so he ran towards the shouting.

He ran towards the shouting, and found four ninja Koopas in the colours of red, black, yellow, and green. He had just walked into a glaring contest, and his presence was made known by a black-shelled ninja Koopa. The green-shelled Kiopa held his diary.

"Dude, we have another dude here," he said. All four ninja Koopas turned around, and in the yellow Koopa's hands was the paranoid mailman from before.

"Who are you guys?" Luigi asked. the four ninja Koopas immediately dropped what they were doing (or in Yellow's case, dropped Parakarry onto the ground) and lined up. Red cleared his throat.

"WE'RE THE..." he paused and turned around, striking a pose and the others followed, one by one.

"KOOPA BROS.!" They all finished dramatically.

"Never heard of you guys..," the mailman muttered.

"WHAT?!" Green shouted. 'YOU'RE THE MAILMAN! HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHO WE ARE!?"

"You probably just knocked him too hard, Green," Yellow snickered.

"Says you! YOU'RE the one who threw him on the ground!" Green retorted.

"Well, Mr. Mailman here isn't in good shape because of you guys," Luigi intervened. _'I never heard of these guys though... not even from Mario or Princess Peach.'_ "And give my diary back!"

"My name's Parakarry..," he muttered.

"Well, beacuse of you guys, Green Hat interrupted what we were doing. C'mon guys, lets bring this dude back to base," Red spoke up. "No thanks, Gree Hat."

"What base?" Parakarry asked.

"The fortress near Koopa Village, duh."

Luigi perked up at this statement. _'So these guys are...'_

"You guys are the thugs who kidnapped the Bob-Oms from Koopa Village!" Luigi exclaimed, and got ready to fight.

"Red, we got found out," Black interjected, and elbowed him.

"This dude's no big deal. He's probably a Mario wannabe. Plus Mario isn't even that strong," Red shrugged.

"Hey! Don't make fun of my bro like that!" Luigi was now ready to leap towards them.

"See? That proves he's a wannabe! That Red Cap doesn't have a brother!"

Luigi had just reached his bursting point, and leapt towards the red ninja Koopa. Red saw this, and leapt towards the side. Green head-butted Luig from the side, knocking Luigi onto Parakarry. Luigi got up, and Parakarry also got up, mildly shocking Luigi.

"Hey, these guys just tried to kidnap me. I should return the favor of finding me. Plus, I got a score to settle," Parakarry explained.

When the Koopas surrounded us, Parakarry whispered to me.

"I got Red and Yellow, you go for the other two," he whispered. Luigi nodded and Parakarry lept up and soared.

Luigi dashed towards Green, who jumped up and tried to stomp on him. Luigi jumped up and grabbed Green by his boots and yanked him towards the ground. Green crashed in a cloud of dust, almost landing on Parakarry on the way. Somehow, he still kept a grip onto the diary. Luigi them got tackled from the back. He saw the black-shelled Koopa's boot on his right hand. Luigi then pulled his cap off, making the koopa confused. He then flung the hat towards the ninja Koopa's face, knocking him over. The Koopa got up quickly and looked over to Parakarry. Parakarry wasn't doing that bad. He flew around in circles, causing the two Koopas to crash into each other. He then use Sky Dive on Yellow, and with a quick run and trip into Red, knocked him out.

 _'That rock must've really hurt,'_ Luigi thought as Yellow laid on the ground, too tired to move. He saw Red regroup with his buddy, and jumped on top of each other. _'Wait, what?'_

"KOOPA BROS SUPER SPINNING ATTACK!" The two Koopas piled on top of each other spun towards us, and Luigi stood there in shock. ' _Since when did Koopas do that?'_

"LOOK OUT!" Luigi got grabbed and closed his eyes. When he opened them, he was...flying?

"You okay?" Parakarry asked Luigi, who was lifting him by holding onto his arms. Luigi nodded.

"I got a plan. Can you drop me onto those two? I'll just kick'em and then we're done," Luigi explained. Parakarry nodded and flew overtop the two Koopas, shouting about something. Luigi then fell at a high speed, and kicked them on the shell and flipped them over. They laid on the ground, moaning, then got up with their other two comrades.

"Drat! We'll be back, and don't you forget us!" Red shouted, then the Koopa Bros spun in their shells into the night. The green ninja Koopa tossed the diary over before catching up with the others.

"Well, gotta go, see ya!" Parakarry waved and flew off. Luigi waved back.

 _3rd person_

After that day, Parakarry was no longer the same. He would look back to watch for a fuzzy, ninja Koopas, or anything that looked like it was gonna attack him. After all, he won't have a partner forever, and he was not going to quit his job. Him tinting back minute after minutes caused him to lose several letters, so he became more paranoid and more worried about getting fired.

* * *

 _I still don't know if my mail choice was the right choice. But my mind's been telling to do it since that day. Goodnight diary, hopefully tomorrow is exciting._


End file.
